The Love of The Game

I believe living life to its fullest means you are experiencing every emotion in all its extremes, with an appreciation of all its ups and downs. To attempt to experience as much as you can and to become as much as you can possibly be is the ultimate show of gratitude for the gift of life that we have. I long for the moment where I can feel the euphoria of skydiving, the fulfillment of completing a marathon, the disappointment of my soccer team losing the finals of a tournament, and the frustration in the face of conflict. Yes, I know what you may be thinking, but let's explore for a second a conversation where we try to observe and accept all the emotions of life without identifying with them, while also celebrating how these distinct feelings all lie on a spectrum that, when coming to understand, we can even laugh at the most uncomfortable emotions.

To expand on my thoughts above, I am going to explain why I love sports and fitness and why I believe so many people all over the world continuously gravitate towards the primal nature of sports participation and entertainment. To further explain my thinking, I’ll tell you a story that may or may not be made up of a soccer player named Taio (Tay-o). Taio wasn’t always the best soccer player in his younger days of playing. He struggled to keep up with the other kids on his team as he was a bit overweight and physically awkward, making him feel embarrassed. Even though he wasn’t as good as his other teammates, his love and knowledge of the game gained from watching the pros were able to keep him in and around the squad of his competitive youth teams. He envied the star players of the teams and often imagined himself in their shoes, as one who too would be deserving of all the praise and admiration. He tried hard and often felt he should give up, but he also felt deep within his heart that he wasn’t any different from these other kids. He didn’t know how, but he believed he could be better than them; he knew that he could be better than he was now. Let us stop for a moment and consider Taio’s experience so far and the different things he felt. We saw that he felt embarrassment, adversity, envy, defeat, inspiration, resilience, and belief.

Continuing Taio’s story, he worked hard in the off-seasons through the winters and summers, having to endure extreme conditions and spending many hours practicing. Many times, he felt like it would be easier to quit and was even angry at himself for not being naturally as good as the other kids; he doubted if he'd ever be as good. Though he kept on envisioning himself in the place of those other kids and even in the place of the professional superstars he admired, that spurred him on to keep striving to be more like them. He persevered and slowly started realizing the fruits of his hard work, which spurred him on some more, and in no time he rose to become one of the best and most famous young players in the whole world. Looking back on all the hardship he overcame to now being the person he hoped to be gave him a sense of fulfillment and happiness he could not describe, an experience and a feeling no amount of money can ever buy. Once again, let us stop here and recap the emotions Taio felt during this period. There was anger, self-doubt, frustration, conviction, endurance, perseverance, belief, fulfillment, and happiness.

Now Taio is in the big leagues, playing in the biggest competitions in the world, and he is now one of the most renowned athletes of his generation. He had worked so hard, and he felt he deserved everything he got. He was finally just like the superstars he envied growing up, and he finally got the praise and recognition he didn’t get when he was younger. He was now on his first big professional team, and he felt he was the best in the team and in the whole competition. He felt he was so good that he wouldn’t really listen to his coaches and his other teammates when they would try to make plans to play as a team. After all, up until now, he was always the star who single-handedly dragged his teams to victory through the work he put in all on his own. His teammates and coaches, of course, did not like this; they began to resent him for his selfish behavior. The first couple of games for Taio’s team didn’t go so well, and in fact, they were getting progressively worse. Taio’s performance suffered, and he couldn’t seem to replicate the old performances from his previous team, in which he was so good. He even feared that he might lose all he had worked for to this point. Many old feelings he recognized from back when he was younger seemed to resurface. Finally, midway through the season, his team lost badly, and Taio was shown a red card for getting into an altercation with a player from the opposing team. Taio realized the one he was truly angry at was himself; he couldn’t seem to understand what had changed with his performances, and he has now gone from being the one who carried his teams to victory to the one letting them down the most. The words of his coaches and teammates started to become clearer. He had failed to realize that there were now so many other amazing players in the competition, all of whom had been stars throughout their own journeys, even his own teammates. His teammates and coaches knew this, and all they tried to do was help him realize and help him understand that teamwork is the way moving forward. He also now understood when his coach told him that one doesn’t ever stop learning and that he can always keep improving, no matter how good he thinks he is. This made him change his attitude once again to that of that young boy who had something to prove and believed anything was possible. Let's recap the emotions in this last part of the story. There was achievement, pride, anger, regret, selfishness, shame, loss, defeat, humility, perseverance, and belief.

If we observe his story from a broad perspective, each emotion experienced and attribute exemplified was a natural and necessary outcome stemming from the different scenarios and conflicts Taio encounters and how he chooses to perceive and act on them. It is important to note that Taio’s perception of a situation will not always be the same as another. Where he felt embarrassment, someone else might feel indifferent, or where Taio felt the need to persevere, someone else might choose to walk away. With that said, the broader theme I hope to highlight is that Taio achieved a lot for himself, and from the outside looking in, most may only observe the positive traits and emotions with regards to his journey, such as his perseverance, triumphs, achievements, and belief, as is often the case with most great athletes or people. Rightfully so, they are often praised in high esteem and lauded for what they achieved, but taking a closer look at their glimmering achievements will often reveal a less than palatable, trodden emotional path that most would not dare travel, perhaps explaining why true greatness comes so scarcely. Recognize that before Taio had a spark of conviction, first came self-doubt; before he persevered, there was frustration; and before he learned humility, there was pride and shame. Now how would Taio sound to you if he came to you today and gave thanks for every moment of adversity, confusion, hardship, embarrassment, and shame he ever had? After all, the opportunity to be a better version of himself would never have materialized without these certain antagonizing encounters to begin with. And that, ladies and gentlemen, through my long-winded way of going about it, is in fact the point. Even for viewers and participants alike, the whole idea of winning in all of its exhilaration and excitement only comes with an ‘agreement’ to accept the possibility of defeat. Beautifully, so many all over the world make this ‘handshake’ as they tune in to support their favorite sports team in search of the thrill of winning, and if not, each loss makes the payload of the eventual win that much more substantial. One can perhaps point to a concert, maybe an engagement, or the moment you found out you’re going to be a parent, but think really hard and ask yourself: As an adult, what experiences genuinely make you jump up and down for joy uncontrollably?

I truly believe sports is a universal language, and there is no better example of that than soccer, helped very much by its simplicity. I mean, can you think of a larger, more inclusive community in the world? Can you think of many more stronger communities than you can find amongst sports teams and teammates? So many will confess that they have found their closest and longest-lasting friendships through a random sports encounter, especially at a young age but quite possibly at any age. Imagine the strength of a bond you create by sharing so many wins, losses, fights, laughs, etc. on a youth sports team for many years. All emotions are enhanced by the primal, grueling, and honest nature of sports participation and even fitness training.

My favorite movie of all time is The Lion King. When people ask why, I simply say, “It has everything." It takes you through betrayal, grief, anger, friendship, community, love, spite, etc. I could go on forever. It pretty much imparts so much wisdom relatable to every aspect of life. The modern world around me today feels like it’s going in the direction of only wanting to give room to the softer, more comfortable emotions of life while dismissing or invalidating the very real and necessary, less comfortable emotions. For example, the whole idea of participation trophies speaks to this (I really don’t like this concept); the concept of patience and longsuffering is eroding quickly in the atmosphere of instant gratification; tolerance and restraint are diminishing with the overindulgence in excess and ease of access; and finally, I’ve observed a collective rejection of the concept of shame in modern society. Google defines shame as a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. By all means, one shouldn’t use shame as a tool for bullying or persuasion on another, but I definitely believe that each individual should always fully acknowledge when their actions bring a feeling of shame because that is the most honest reflection that you have done something wrong. My personal observation is that living in a world where we draw such lines only creates a diluted, pretentious, and dull human experience. Jokes can’t be edgy anymore, sports have lost their bite and spontaneity, relationships are becoming shallow and fleeting, and with so much more confinement towards what we shouldn’t be allowed to do anymore, originality or artistic innovation is becoming an archaic notion.

To sum up, we don’t have to identify with our worst mistakes and our lowest states, as they are just like the seasons; everything has a time and place, but everything comes and goes. You can change; you are permitted to change, and you should be excited to change about yourself, what you do not want, and what you do want. You must find within yourself the place where nothing is impossible and carry on daily with that belief. By working hard to strengthen your emotional intelligence, knowing yourself, and loving yourself, you will slowly learn to not only become a master of your own emotions, but you'll also be able to harness them to help you in tough times. Just like we know to prepare to be warm and comfortable when the winter approaches, for example, you’ll know how to prepare for calmness and control when anger or conflict arises, rather than curse the world for being cold and uncomfortable. With the right perspective, beyond the initial frustration of losing the finals of the sports tournament, I can appreciate all the highs along the way as well as gratitude for the experience, so that I know how to approach the same situations next time to yield a more positive result.

“The Titan”

I have always been a sucker for a good epic, fiction story. Whether through movies, books or even video games, I relish the chance to have my mind escape to a different place and time to explore other worlds with dynamics so different, but yet with themes and symbols so relatable to my world. Some of my favorite adventures include “The Epic of Gilgamesh”, The Odyssey and Hercules. I feel as though these and many other stories alike, shaped my childhood and still remain some of the biggest influences in shaping my core values interestingly enough (I know what you’re thinking…. NERD!).

This brings me to one of my favorite ever video games in “God of War”. I won’t go into too much detail on what the game is about because I’d hate to rob you of such an amazing experience(I know… you’re ordering the PS5 right now! You’re welcome). Generally, the game sits in the world of Greek Mythology, where there was war between the gods (Zeus, Poseidon… etc.) and the titans(Prometheus, Cronus… etc.). Now one of these titans, named Atlas, specifically caught my attention. In all the different ways the story of Atlas is told, the general premise is that, as punishment for defying the gods, Atlas was sentenced to holding up the ‘world’ or the “pillars” that separated heaven and earth, for all eternity. Now, other than the fact that I think the name ‘Atlas’ is so cool, I immediately gravitated towards the symbolism of Atlas’s unfortunate circumstance. In a way, we are all Atlas, forced to carry the weight of our world individually and as a collective. As each must carry the weight of their own burdens, fears and worries, each must also carry a bit of the responsibility in doing their part to make the world a better place for everyone.

To round up what is probably the most random thing you will read today, ‘Tayo The Atlas” just didn’t quite have the same ring to it, but my brand name having something to do with Atlas was the original idea. In a draft somewhere is my idea to start a non-profit called “The Atlas Project”, aimed towards philanthropic missions to empower young titans back home in Africa. I believe the movie Remember The Titans copied me, but we’ll leave that conversation open. It’s funny how my childish and nerdy little Instagram name has very much become my brand and identifier, I just had to weather quite a bit of teasing at first : ).

By the way, the logo looks like a “T’ for obvious reason but its also a hammer, referencing another popular deity/superhero, but I’ll let you figure that one out haha.